Suzanne

A shout-out to my old friend Max on this one, since it was really his idea. Back in college, a bunch of us were hanging out and I was playing "Suzanne" on the guitar (non-ironically, even), and he started ad-libbing this incredibly mean-spirited, very funny parody of it. I can't remember any of the words to it anymore, but the spirit has lived on in my brain ever since, and I finally stopped trying to remember his words and just came up with my own. (The last line is actually Max's -- it's the only one of his I could remember.)

Suzanne
by Greta Christina

Suzanne takes you down
To her place in the Village
You can listen to Bob Dylan
And that goddamn Ravi Shankar
And her Indian print bedspread
Catches dust and makes you sneezy
And she feeds you tea and oatcakes
That come all the way from Brooklyn
And she'll drive you to distraction
With her half-assed Eastern wisdom
And you think she's really batty
But she makes you really horny
And you know you'll get some off her

And you want to shake some sense into
That ditzy spaced-out brainpan
And you think she's really batty
But still you're very sexually attracted to her

Copyright 2004 Greta Christina.