The Quick and the Dead

The Quick and the Dead
reviewed by Greta Christina

I sit through a lot of mediocre movies. I sit through a lot of bad movies. But it's been a long time since I've sat through a movie this boring. Just plain boring. Boring, boring, boring. I can't even begin to tell you. We're talking checking out the decor of the theater, planning a shopping trip to Trader Joe's, and wishing there were enough light in the theater to read the paper. As a parody of Westerns, it's unfunny; as a drama, it's tepid and pointless; and as any sort of entertainment whatsoever, it's tedious beyond belief. Stupendously, mind-bogglingly, weasel-drenchingly dull and awful is the concept I'm trying to get across here. Sharon Stone uses one facial expression throughout the movie -- impassive. If you're going to pick one facial expression to use throughout a movie, that probably isn't the wisest choice. It might be too early to judge, but it looks like Basic Instinct is turning out to be the high point of Sharon Stone's career. Sad, really.

Copyright 1995 Greta Christina. Originally published in San Francisco Bay Times.